


What You Allow Yourself

by DelWrites



Category: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Genre: M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, wingman peni and also wingman spiderfam in general eventually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-18 23:36:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17590562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DelWrites/pseuds/DelWrites
Summary: Is it better to have no choices at all, or to be caught between the options of what you want, and what you think is best?Noir and Ham have been caught in the ages old conundrum- "You could never like me back."





	What You Allow Yourself

The curiosity starts when Peni sees hearts coming off Ham in waves, during a visit. There's a moment where she doesn't get it, then her little genius brain sees that Ham's looking at Noir, and she reaches over to wave her hands through those little love notes before mono-man can notice. She gets the feeling Ham hadn't intended for them to be visible. They were, though.

They really were.

\-----

Noir's got a heap of troubles, these days. He's looking at his hands in the cold night, and the shivers aren't distracting him from what's plaguing his mind- a need to protect.

Octavius, back at Miles' home, was temporarily in a truce with the new Spiderman. The ability to have visits between dimensions, short as they may be, meant invaluable research data to her. It was only a matter of time until she pulled something, of course, but until then- until then. They didn't have to all be alone again.

Noir refused to let them near his home. He preferred to leave it behind him- the darkness was grim, filthy, unloving- bland.

It was grey and dreary and dull, and Noir... he could no longer find color in it. No life.

Noir preferred Miles' home, or- well. If he was being honest with himself, he VERY much preferred HAM'S home. That dimension- there was no danger. Jaded Noir, he wanted to say he should despise a world so shielded from the cold truths of reality, a world with no logic and death-defying talking animals- but that world was reality. It was A reality.

Ham's world was so free of agony, for a change. So vibrant, bouncing and brimming with life and humor. Noir couldn't bring himself to hate it. That world, it was a better place, with better people. Not even old bitterness could get in the way of that.

Noir supposed, nowadays, he often thought similar of the pig too.

A better person, a brighter person, even though he was so different from his idea of a normal person. Maybe that was why Ham was so... relieving. A breath of fresh air.

Noir was a detective for a reason- he knew what he was feeling. He knew it'd only bring catastrophe, ruin... it'd only dampen those bright colors.

He did all he could do, and ignored them.

Except he couldn't, and every time he visited his tiny toon friend, he felt a new kind of grip on his heart, that cold grey infected by vibrancy. What he wouldn't give to be honest- but he knew his genre was tragedy. He didn't have a choice.

He told himself, again and again, that he didn't have a choice.

**Author's Note:**

> A Multichapter Fic from someone with very little true writing experience?? This'll end well.
> 
> Hamnoir, what have you DONE to me???????


End file.
